My marriage to Liz lasted for some 10 years, but it was not really good years, both my mother and father flew home to England for the wedding, they stayed in the U.K. for a month, and in that time my father took me to one side and told me that Liz's mother was trying to run our lives and I needed to get Liz away from her mother so that we could be a proper married couple. I was offered a two year posting in Hong Kong which I accepted, but by that time we had been married for some five months and I was beginning to have my doubt about this marriage. Liz was a lousy cook, she rarely cleaned our first flat always having the same excuse. "I feel tired, I was waiting for you to come home and help me." she refused to go shopping, the bag was too heavy, so in those first five months, I had to do a full days work, then come home, cook and clean, but I felt at the time that things would change, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt, and anyway, we would cuddle up at night, and the sex wasn't too bad. So in the August. A sat her down and asked her." Do you want your own home first, or a baby." she said a baby so that when we flew out to Hong Kong, Liz was already three months pregnant. Stewart was born in the June, and from the January of 1969 Liz had had to stay in hospital until our son was born, high blood pressure, she needed bed rest. Stewart was born with a cleft pallet and hair lip, he went through hell over the first few months, but as the family said, he was a little fighter and came through it. Lis and Stewart were flown back to the U.K. so that Stewart could have the hair lip sorted out, it was all planned that he would go to a military hospital, and once the job was done, fly back out to me. But Mother was waiting at the airport and took Liz and Stewart home with them, the Navy did its nut, I found myself on the preverbal carpet on A charge of dereliction of duty, but this was eventually dismissed when I told my C/O the sort of woman my mother in law was. I, in the process, got a letter from Liz telling me she was going to stay in the U.K. with her parents until I came home, but my Divisional Officer wrote to Liz saying that if this was her decision, then Palmer would be home within the next six months and transferred to a sea going ship sailing for the Far East as soon as he joined, and she would not see her husband for at least two and a half years. Liz returned to Hong Kong within a couple of weeks, and we tried to get on with our marriage.
We flew home, the three of us in the September of 1970, I did buy a house, on Portland, saying that if I was stationed in Portsmouth or Devonport, Portland was midway between the two, and every ship that I joined had to come to Portland to do a six week work up, so I would always be in Portland for six weeks. The house was beautiful, almost like the home I had with my mother and father, except my new home had a nice bay window in the lounge and main bedroom. At this time, I had joined H.M.S. Lincoln, again a great ship with a fantastic crew, and we came to Portland for our six week workup, I was Q/M on the gangway when Flag Officer Sea Training came to visit, I knew this man, he was a stickler for the rule, so as he came on board and my bos'n's mate and I piped him on board, I stopped him at the gangway and asked him for his I.D. he looked at me with eyes of fire. "Do you know who I am," he said. "Yes sir, I do, but I still need to see your I/D before you come on my ship." The skipper and Jimmy were both splitting blood. "Palmer." the skipper said. " This is F.O.S.T, let the man on board, now." I stood my ground, looking at the captain and Jimmy, I said. "Sorry sir, but rules are rules, we are at Portland and everyone coming on my ship must show me there I/D." F.O.S.T. produced his I/D and I took the card looked at it then at him and handed it back, I then saluted and stood to one side and F.O.S.T. came on board, walking to the captain's cabin with the Jimmy still feeling embarrass and still spitting blood, I was told by the officer of the day, that as soon as F.O.S.T. had left the ship I would be put on a charge. F.O.S.T. only stayed on board for an hour, so when he left the ship I was still on duty, as I stood to pipe him off he came towards me. "I remember you, Palmer, you were on my team a few years ago, something to do with live ammunition on a gun running exercise." I nodded. "You did well this morning, didn't take any nonsense, good man, good man." then turning to the captain he said. "One of my old team, this man will keep this ship safe when on duty." and then walked across the gangway and jumped into his car and was gone. The captain looked at me. "Palmer, why did you disobey my orders." I said. "Sorry sir, but I do know F.O.S.T. and had I not done what I did, I would have been in big trouble, so would you have been, this man takes his job very seriously, and anyone who does not comply to the orders, will find themselves in front of him in his office, and sir, that is not a nice thing to see. I was not put on a charge, and our work up went very well. however, things were not going well at home, I got a call from my next door neighbour regarding excessive noise, I with the help of the shore patrol went to my home, only to find my wife in bed with two men, she was laid on her side, and both men were having sex with her at the same time, what made matters worse, there were two more guys in the lounge sat waiting to go upstairs. I lost it, I dragged her naked body out of the bed and removed my belt, she got six of the best, the only reason she didn't get more, was the petty officer of the patrol was outside the door and stopped me at six. As I stood up leaving her in a blubbering heap on the bedroom rug I walked away, the marriage was in my eyes over, I couldn't trust this woman, but I still had my son to worry about, she couldn't look after him, her life was one of lying on the sofa eating sweets and chocolate biscuits. in the end, I gave her a second chance, but refused to have sex with her, I sailed to the Far East again, we wrote to each other, but there was no love between us, it was like two people living together but living very separate lives, I was only really happy when at sea. I left H.M.S. Lincoln at the end of February 1972, I then went to the gunnery school at Portsmouth, then to Osprey for just over a year, this I was told instigated by my wife, she had gone to the chaplain at Osprey saying she needed her husband home as she could not cope. I then spent just over a year at Osprey, and to be honest, I had the feeling things were getting slightly better, Liz was taking on more duties around the home, and was even cooking some of our meals, but cleaning up and washing clothes made her very tired, and she had as she said needed time to rest. I then joined H.M.S.Bulwark and we headed to the Med and Malta, whilst on route Liz wrote and told me she was pregnant, but everything was ok, so I didn't need to worry. While in Malta, I got this letter in crayon, saying that mummy was in hospital, and I was living on my own and was very lonely. I showed the letter to my divisional officer, and he told me that if I could raise the money for the flight home, he would arrange it. I did get the money together, and within 24 hours was heading back to England. When I got to my house in the early hours of the morning, I found my mother and father in law living there with my son. Liz was in hospital with high blood pressure, and they and a friend were looking after Stewart. I went to the hospital the following day, Liz was due to give birth within weeks, I asked the Indian doctor to do a cesarian, but he refused saying that toxaemia had set in, and I could lose my wife, even saying I could lose both. I told the doctor that if anything happened to my new baby I would take legal action against the hospital, then I stayed with Stewart for two weeks and flew back to my ship. We sailed from Malta and whilst at sea, I got the signal, wife gave birth to baby boy. due to toxaemia, baby died twenty minutes after birth, wife in good health. Again I flew home, to bury my son James, Liz did not attend the funeral, she just wiped the whole episode from her mind, leaving me, to wonder just what sort of son he would have been Liz on the other hand, once fit and well was back to chasing men, and once found, she would take them to bed. I sold our second home and moved her and Stewart to Plymouth, put us all in married quarters, I was hoping that being around other naval wives, she would get to realise that married life was the best way to go, plus the fact, I had signed on for the twenty two years, and at the end of that time, I would come out with a very good pension and backhander and we would be set for life.
One afternoon I came home, Stewart was sat on the front step, I asked him where mummy was, he pointed across the road, I dropped my bag and went over, I could hear music, looking in the front room window, I could see my wife and another woman dancing with two guys, I knew the other woman, her husband was on Ark Royal in the states. I knocked the door and told everyone who I was and told the men to go, I then told Liz to go home, I would talk to her very soon, then I gave the woman a good talking to.
I went home and asked Stewart to go to his room, I needed to talk to his mother, then I told Liz that this marriage was over, she had done the dirty on me three times now, and what I had just witnessed was the final straw, I then packed my kitbag and went back to my new ship, H.M.S Ajax, the navy did try to patch things up, but as I said at the time, why bother, this was the sort of woman she was, she wasn't content to want one man, she wanted marriage, but also that little extra on the side. Whereas me, I have always been a one woman man, I admit, when Liz did the dirty on me the first time round, I was upset, angry and disappointed that we couldn't make it work, so went a little off the rails, but when she did it the second time I played it right down the middle, got angry, and took in out on one of the pubs in Portsmouth, got very drunk and missed my Sunday breakfast.
Liz and I did get divorced, it was a bad divorce, she refused to let me see Stewart, I in the meantime was now going out with someone in the North East, so we were miles from each other, in the end, I got a letter from my son saying, he never wanted to have contact with me ever again, and this would be the last letter he would ever write to me. I did reply, saying, if that was your wish, then I am happy to abide by it, he was eight when he wrote that letter, it is now over 50 years since I saw or heard from my son, but I think of him, as I do with James, the son I had, then lost, because my wife could not stop eating chocolate for a short period of time, to let that little baby grow inside her and be born normally. As they say, it's all water under the bridge, but looking back, My father said to me. "Son, if you don't want to go through with this wedding, don't, I will go to the church and explain to everyone, you can ger on a train, back to your ship and carry on with your naval career, I didn't listen, but looking back I think I should have. While we were in Hong Kong Mary was out there, she had a baby, but was not married, she came to see us at our flat and said to me what a bloody fool she had been over me, I told her she did have her chance and blew it, she said. Tell me, Michael, if you had come back to Hong Kong and found me as I am, with a baby, would you have wanted to take us both on." I said in front of Liz. "If I was not married and we had met up, yes I would have taken the two of you on, I did love you, it was you with your not wanting to marry a lower decker that did it for us. Today, Mary lives in Gosport as far as I know, her daughter is grown up and has her own family. As for Liz and Stewart, they I am told still live together, in Columpton, she will never let him go, she hates being alone, she hated me being in the Royal Navy and did everything in her power to keep me at home.Her mother was right, the marriage would never last, it was just the time, she got wrong.
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